a strange kind of thing hit me today as i was sipping too-sweet tea (india – god) from a too-small cup (double god) and listening to my tunage. as i often do to drown out the 40 bajillion decibels of bengali yelling that surround me each day. (as a further digression, how this country is not filled with deaf people, is literally beyond me.)
there is this line in a city and color song that goes: “i’ve seen a palace in london, i’ve seen a castle in wales – but i’d rather wake up beside you – and breathe that old familiar smell.”
it made me realize that, for probably the first time in my entire ridiculous life, i want complete and utter normalcy.
i know exactly what you’re going to say: “al, listen, you’ve been gone for a while and we all know you’re going kind of crazy. you’re totes homesick, so stop being so drama. lord.”
you’re perhaps right. and yet – while i am admittedly eager to get home for a number of reasons – i’m not sure you can sum up how i’m feeling to just missing the familiar.
i think i’m just really tired of being a complete wack-a-doo.
specifically, i’m tired of running around making exciting, exuberating, extreme choices that cause ripples – then big-ass waves – through my personal and professional life.
and this goes beyond the insane india factor, trust me. this is about the last 5 years chasing a career path that, while super exotic, is consistently challenging from every possible angle. relentless, actually. (blah blah blah – i know not the first person ever to feel this way, but hey, it’s about me al, remember?)
so yah, i can honestly say that for the first time in my entire life of always wanting things to be radically non-standardized – all i want right now is unadulterated, inexplicable dullness.
frankly, it’s making me kind of vomit in my mouth to admit all of this, but what’s the point in holding back from you now? we’ve come so far together, kind readers.
within 2 weeks i’m going to be prancing around my kitchen at 11 am in a mink hat screaming at the top of my lungs to marvin gaye, drinking champagne (chardy after 12, where do you think i was raised – a barn?) while the diabolical dog perform his newest – and perhaps most highly anticipated – tap dance routine.