should disaster strike.

18 Sep

well don’t panic, but we had an earthquake here in ye old eastern india tonight. strangely enough, it seems to have originated just north of darjeeling where the husband and i were sojourning not 5 days ago.

walking through the tea gardens in darjeeling

speaking of the lovely man who is no longer in india, i was skyping with him when i felt the whole apartment shake-shake-shake it’s booty in a serious way.  now, sometimes when big trucks drive by to drop bricks off to the construction site outside, the apartment shakes. (real comforting, i know.)

but this particular shaking went on for a little too long to be truck-related. i was suspicious.

i thought: “is this a for-real earthquake? no! wait…is it? bah – impossible.” and then kept talking to the husband about the diabolical dog and his tap-dancing ways. as you do when disaster is imminent.

it wasn’t until i got a text from miss jp – the ringleader of the americans and slightly disaster paranoid charmer – saying: “earthquake in calcutta?”, my tiny little lid flipped ever so slightly.

what would i actually do if there was a real true-life emergency?

step 1: cry.

step 2: call the americans.

step 3: resume crying and get a drink. (preferably something grape flavored, but who’s making demands really?)

step 4: run away.

i mean, sorry mom and dad, but this is about as far as my disaster planning goes. i literally know nothing about actual disaster preparation and management – and my guess is that it’s probably time to learn a little something.

if i’m being honest, i’m kicking myself right now for being a wee bit of a see-you-next-tuesday: i have entertained many a bengali colleague with the level 45 american paranoia about disasters.

basically, all of the americans keep bags filled with emergency-related items like…rolled up wads of US dollars, snow gear lest they be evacuated somewhere chilly, extra undies, pagers, boxes of kraft dinner, fur hats and so on. you know, the essentials in case of disaster.

alright, i’m lying about the kd thing (although that would totes be in my evac bag bitches!) but the snow gear and wads of US cash points are true. they’re thinkers.

ugh, and while i have mocked them in good-humor for this ridiculousness, tonight’s events have made me think that my propensity for poor in-case-of-emergency planning should be reviewed.  how dull.

so…um…do you guys have any good ideas in this regard? cause after quietly, yet intently, staring at the blank computer screen followed by adjusting my mosquito net and sashaying to the washroom, i can confidently say that i’m fresh out.

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7 Responses to “should disaster strike.”

  1. A.A.B. (auntie angie baby) September 18, 2011 at 11:56 pm #

    Find a wine cellar. Protection and fun all at one time.

  2. Lidia September 19, 2011 at 1:23 am #

    An open one-way ticket to Firenze!!! Hello Chianti classico, brunello, montepulciano… What more could u ask for in times of need!!
    Ok and maybe a water bottle or two could be thrown in!

  3. Hannah September 19, 2011 at 1:58 am #

    The Americans would never pack “Kraft Dinner” because it does not exist. They might, however, pack Kraft Mac’n’Cheese.

    I can see through your tom foolery.

    • al September 19, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

      i hate to burst your bubble but she DOES refer to it as kraft dinner. so fail. you.

  4. ann sitch September 19, 2011 at 6:48 pm #

    in case of an earthquake, i’ve heard the best thing to do is to put a pillow on your head and stand under the door jamb…

  5. barnet September 19, 2011 at 6:51 pm #

  6. Jennifer September 22, 2011 at 2:39 am #

    Having (barely) survived the Storm of ’98 in the woods in a petite ville north of Montreal and being without power, water or a hot shower for a week with 4 young kids, a dog, and a gold fish bowl that grew an increasingly thicker layer of ice each hour, I can admit that The Gallant and I have our emergency backpacks ready to go. Water, power bars, blankets, flashlights, toilet paper, undies, money, copies of insurance/ credit cards / debit cards, tarps (yep), socks (gotta have clean feet no matter what)……..just a few of the items we have ready to grab and go. I even mark in my agenda when we need to go swap the the water and food stuff so that it stays fresh. I remember being in a line for gas for the car only to find out that the pumps would not work cuz of course it was all digitally powered. I cried like a baby with colic when I finally had running water again.

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