how to light a fire under your butt. like a minx.

5 Jul

as we previously discussed, india and i are on a break. so if you’re looking for pictures of cute babies and spices and other indian whatsits – move along for today okthankyouverymuch.

so i think i have finally pinpointed what’s been driving me bat-ass crazy about work for the last month: i’m completely and perfectly unmotivated.

i guess i never realized how much energy i derived from those around me until i came here. i mean, the days i’m in the field are obviously ripe with disney-song-esque inspiration, but as far as my day-to-day work environment goes it’s all very….meh.

at every job i’ve had so far i’ve had the pleasure of working with high-energy and ridiculously bananas people. so to experience less-than-bananas has been a real drain on my desire to do much of anything. (anything except eat sour cream and onion chips – because those little bastards have me hooked.)

my colleagues just don’t really seem to enjoy their work. personally, i don’t think they see how dynamic microfinance is in the big scheme of things. or they do, and they’re hiding it really well. either way, it’s meh.

so after weeks of moping around, depending on solely on the pounding of grape (real phrase) to make me happy – i am actively trying to find my groove. just call me stella, bitches.

and what i’ve decided is that i’ve been really afraid of moving projects forward without any clear support. while my projects are finally interesting, i know it’s going to be a complete disaster trying to make any of them successful based on how decisions are made and implemented here.

but that’s a totally lame reason to not try, right?

what popped into my head on saturday when i thought about this was the following experience:

about 13 years ago i was in muskoka visiting my most favorite family’s cottage. my most favorite auntie, being as sporty as she is, proposed going for a long distance swim in the lake.  now i have never been one to turn down a challenge, but i do not enjoy fish and other such lake-dwelling creatures. gag me with a spoon.

regardless,  i said something along the lines of “f*&k it” to myself and went for the swim anyway.  i was literally scared shitless the entire time – scared of touching logs in the water and of being slapped by fish fins. these are real-life fears, ok? god.

but despite how beyond panicked i was, i finished that swim like a champ.  and all these years later i still remember that it felt completely amazing – i was/am so proud.  there truly is nothing like taking something scary head on and saying: “nobody puts baby in a corner!”

(you’re thinking: “oh snap, she did not just quote patrick swayze!”- well i did. i freeking did.)

the aforementioned feat – no matter how seemingly small –  is actually motivating me today to not be paralyzed by all the failures that are surely about to rain down on me at work. while it’s sometimes ok to fail, it has never been ok in my books to give up trying.

so now what i’m going to do is say “f*&k it”, dive in and then keep swimming. like a minx. or is it mink?

this was a poorly thought out ending.

don't think that finding my groove = giving up pounding the grape. cause it doesn't. cheers friends!

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10 Responses to “how to light a fire under your butt. like a minx.”

  1. A.A.B. (auntie angie baby) July 5, 2011 at 3:48 pm #

    Minks do swim. Let me tell you that I saw them scurry past me into the water at the dock last weekend. The nasty little coat-wearing devils made themselves a home in the ceiling of the cottage and basically peed and pooed the winter away without a care that 2 large rooms would need to be dismantled and reassembled. Since the cottage is on an island I can tell you that they swim over!

    But fear not…they are very afraid of people so not to worry – your swimming days are NOT over my love. BTW, there are no fish in the lake – just ask your uncle. tee heee…

    • heyitsmeal July 5, 2011 at 4:14 pm #

      huh, this has been a highly informative comment. vomit-inducing, but highly informative. i think you have basically confirmed that my swimming days are now most definitely over in any form of canadian lake.

      the minkseseses make fish look innocent.

  2. Lyndsey Morris July 5, 2011 at 8:10 pm #

    This is why you have to read “Half the Sky”… just sayin’.

    • heyitsmeal July 5, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

      overall inspiration i have – getting that with the women i come face to face with in the field. buttttt, it’s the less exciting corporate struggle that is proving a lot harder than i thought. to be continued! :)

      • Hannah July 7, 2011 at 2:57 am #

        Lyndsey (with the best last name ever) – I’ve been trying to push this book on her like woah. Minx won’t budge.

        Minx.

  3. Hannah July 7, 2011 at 2:58 am #

    Also. Thank you.
    Thank you for getting Fergie in my head.

    This shit is bananas.

    B-A-N-A-N-A-S

  4. Care July 7, 2011 at 8:34 am #

    My Alli,
    Here’s a story about water-animals and frightening things….
    On Monday I swam about 2 miles while in the States (visiting a friend’s family) in the SALT water across the severn river, which is just off of chesapeke bay in Maryland. Now, for one I have not used my arm for ANYTHING active in about 3 months so this was quite a feat for me. As I’m walking down the dock to get to the starting mark I was quite anxious and worried about my capability to do this so I was pretty distracted. Later that night, after completing the swim and being proud/exhausted of myself, I found out that as we were walking along that dock, everyone but me saw a SNAKE or SNAKE-LIKE animal in the friggen water and didn’t tell me because they knew I wouldn’t swim if I knew! I’ve never wanted to puke more than that moment in my entire life.
    Just goes to show, that even water-snakes, and water-snake-like animals don’t bite, so the water at little old skeleton lake is as safe as can be :)
    XO

  5. barnet July 8, 2011 at 11:03 pm #

    If you google light a fire under a minx you get …..

    Check out the # of hits!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. the end of a really big fight. « hey it's me, al. - July 10, 2011

    […] was acting like a bitch to me. so i started talking about other important things, like my sister, minxeses (minkseses?) and my handicapped dog. as you […]

  2. the best days of my (indian) life. « hey it's me, al. - July 19, 2011

    […] i have prevailed – mainly by dive-bombing them and taking their picture anyway. (like a minx.) i make sure to show the kidlets their pictures right away, because experience has shown me […]

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