lots of things happened when i was 8. i distinctly remember that it was at 8 years old that i started thinking boys were ok (yes that young – get over it) and i learned the f-word. i look back on the latter moment with a special fondness as the f-word has since become one of my most favorite words. it’s just so f*&king versatile.
anyway, something else happened when i was 8 – i got lost in the giant
ottawa montreal canada day parade.
now i don’t remember a lot about this day other than the basic facts: i was chosen to be in the parade because i was a small blonde-haired blue eyed girl dressed in head-to-toe red (have i always been such a keener?). i held the canada flag in the parade. when the parade was over, i couldn’t find my parents in the maniacal crowds. i panicked. i panicked some more. i located a cop and cried. the cop located my parents. the end.
after you have a semi-traumatizing childhood experience in a crowd of thousands of nutty canadian patriots – you sort of stop caring about canada day. funny how that works…eh?
yes, i know that this event was almost 20 years ago (gasp) and i’ve had plenty of semi-traumatizing experiences since then to replace this one with. but brains are a tricky business – somehow they always choose to remember whatever they want. bastards.
(exhibit b: no matter how hard i try to forget that i ever did a dance routine by myself to the hit 1993 c&c music factory song “gonna make you sweat (everybody dance now)” in a talent show in front the whole school, i just can’t. denim cut-offs and body suit included.)
lord i need a chilled glass of chardy.
anyway, the calendar tells me it’s canada day again. and while i am generally unenthusiastic about this holiday, today i am mysteriously feeling a glimmer of national pride. all it took was 12,952 km between me and you!
as the americans told me a few weeks ago: “american and canadian passports are the only game in town here.” and they’re so right.
it seems like all my colleagues have talked about immigrating to canada at one point or another already. they know that we have many of the things that india doesn’t – good infrastructure, job opportunities, better living conditions and decent health care. and niagara falls – we can’t forget niagara falls.
i say why shouldn’t they come to canada? india has too many people anyway – frankly it makes me suspicious.
so today, on the day we became a united people who watch hockey and drink beer, i feel proud to be from a country so highly regarded that others are willing to risk everything to join it. i guess for the first time in a while my previously established canada day trauma hasn’t prevented me from appreciating this day of national pride. and that’s pretty cool.
but fear not – because if you haven’t figured it out already from this collection of stories and swear words – i’ll find some new awesome canadian foible to bitch about soon.
in the words of regina george from “mean girls”: love ya! [blows double kiss]