looking out for number one.

28 Jun

ever since i got to india people have gone from calling me “that stupid selfish newlywed” (whatever, you were totally thinking it) to calling me ” self-less and inspirational”.  scoff, scoff.

what’s fun for me is that this strange turn of events has kept me highly  amused over the last few months. (10 points to gryffindor for that one.)

i think what i find so hilarious about being  labeled as some kind of hero is that all i’m truly doing here is pursuing my dream job. i’m just a regular joe. josephine.

alright, ok,  my dream job just happens to be in a sector that helps people improve their lives, but this doesn’t make me batman.

(my god i love batman – or do i love christian bale – hmmmm food for thought. anyway.)

i think, if anything, people were right on the money with their initial selfish perceptions.  moving to india was the ultimate in selfishness – a means to a much better professional end, if you will. with high levels of personal collateral damage along the way.

did i really want to move to 12,952 km away from my husband 3 months after we got married? no.  did i want to miss all the exciting events that are going on back home? hells no! did i want to have ongoing ‘digestive events’ for 11 months? you get the picture.

but as is written on my chalkboard-paint wall in our 120 year old office: “nothing worth fighting for is ever easy, bitches” (yes it actually says bitches – obviously – because i’m awesome like that)

and it’s true. whether you’re like me, hoping to move your career forward, or if you’re battling a disease or desperately trying to support your family – nothing worth the fight is ever easy. i guess life is kind of a jerkstore like that.

even though i may not be in india to hand out free pencils and bags of congealed food-like substances to the poor, i know that my being here is going to help me get to where i want to be – and likely do some good along the way.

while  selfish, these two facts make this crazy whole thing worth the fight.

so you know another one of my secrets – i’m really just another overly ambitious selfish 20-something. huh – what’s interesting is that i still don’t know any of your secrets, kind readers. well be warned, i’ve got you right where i want you….


9 Responses to “looking out for number one.”

  1. A.A.B. (auntie angie baby) June 28, 2011 at 6:24 pm #

    Helping people is by nature, a selfish activity – we do it because there is something in it for US at the end – even if in the doing, it just makes us feel better; or there’s a paycheque, a better job or someone praises or thanks us.

    You can’t give without getting something back – it’s just not possible. We humans are a balanced bunch.

    • Hannah June 28, 2011 at 8:32 pm #

      As Phoebe Buffay so tried to do – it is practically impossible to do something good without feeling something good in return. And I’m so glad that you love this line of work because someone needs to do it!

      Love you Al.

      • heyitsmeal June 29, 2011 at 11:49 am #

        hearts and flowers to you.

    • heyitsmeal June 29, 2011 at 11:50 am #

      the elusive selfless good deed strikes again…

  2. Care June 28, 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    “By supporting them, I’m doing a good thing. But, I’m not happy about it. So, there! A selfless good deed”
    “All right. You don’t feel a little good about donating the money?”
    “No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster.”

    “I will find a selfless good deed, because I just gave birth to three children, and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!”

    My Alli, we are all proud of you whether what you’re doing is selfish or not!

    • heyitsmeal June 29, 2011 at 11:49 am #

      this made my day. so thanks for that…love.

  3. Barnet July 1, 2011 at 6:54 pm #



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