when i was working in communications last year we would always tell our volunteers heading to africa the following: “write a blog post and then save it. go to sleep. hit publish in the morning when you’re less in the moment.”
but you know what – f&*k it – that’s terrible advice.
i’m angry! i’m really flipping angry, and if i have to sit here and stew about today, i’m exposing you to it as well.
i spent the entire day (from 5.45 am…vomit) in the field today visiting another branch. while i love getting out of the office, these field days kick the pants off of me. i get dirtier than i’ve ever been (the air is brown here – the flipping air!), travel bumpy roads for hours and always have a digestive ‘event’ the day after.
(yah, i signed up for this, but i’m still allowed to say it sucks. get over it.)
and while i normally just take the good with the bad on these field days – the things i saw today have left me sitting in my apartment with a slight twitch.
basically, i’m pretty sure that the guy that invented alcohol did so after a day exactly like this one.
today i saw two funerals (where the body sits outside the house and gets burned nearby, both of which i witnessed), scores of wildly grieving family members, several dead and near-dead dogs, some of the worst in-home living conditions i’ve yet to experience (a rickety floor in a house over putrid lake water), an old man crawling through mud like a crab and shaking uncontrollably (parkinsons?), and an incident of disrespect to our clients that has made me question our staff members’ intention
ok, so maybe to you some of the above doesn’t seem like a big deal. honestly, it’s not so much the events themselves that are anger-inducing, but the fact that here you aren’t protected from anything.
no matter what the situation – dead body, desperate client, disease-ridden man – you have to witness unapologetic instances of unfairness and tragedy that aren’t easily deleted from your memory.
today at one point i actually stopped looking around when i thought something in my sight line might be upsetting. i literally started repeating to myself: “this is not a memory you want. this is not a memory you want.” while trying to look away.
so yah, i’m angry. i’m angry i had to see those things and i’m angry that we live in a world with so much random injustice.
you know, i hate those people who preach about how we should all be happy we weren’t born into poverty. because while their lives are more difficult, the poor are just as dignified as anyone else.
so after today, i simply want to ask you to just be grateful for something – for anything – in your lives.