punching ants and other pointless activities.

25 May

well i officially have an ant problem.  these red little buggers seem to be following me everywhere – they’re in my apartment, in my purse and on my desk at work.

in the words of derek zoolander: “what is this? a school for ants?”

and they’re not normal ants either.  they carry stuff. they play mind games. and i’m pretty sure they’re building some kind of ant-super-ship to take me out in the night. (they’re just a little too busy looking for my comfort…)

anyway, here’s a summary of the situation at home:

living room

kitchen part 1

kitchen part 2

well i’ve finally had enough.  i’ve asked them nicely (“please sirs, take your parade somewhere else!”) and i’ve tried punching them with my index finger – but nothing seems to work.  they’re either incredibly smart, or really stupid.

my guess is that it’s the latter, because now i’m about to unleash a world of hurt on them in the form of bug spray.

ants 23 al 3948534598239

11 Responses to “punching ants and other pointless activities.”

  1. ica May 25, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    I feel like you could almost start a petting zoo in your apartment with all the different things living with you.


  2. Jessica Hynes May 25, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

    Set a trap! Set a trap! Set a honey trap and lure those evil fuckers to their doooom…mwahahahaha!

    • Al May 27, 2011 at 10:47 am #

      so the report on this is that theyre too smart for honey! it just makes them reroute their parade of evil up the wall further. what the hell eh? im scared of their ability to employ logic.

  3. Hannah May 25, 2011 at 10:15 pm #

    Best advice for this is:
    1) Ask the locals what they do.
    If that doesn’t work, they don’t do anything
    2) Take bug spray/anything kind of poisonous and spray their trail. They’ll come back, but it’ll take a few days and they’ll find a new route.

    While I have no problem with JC (remember, he EATS BUGS) I think ants need to get their butts kicked.

    • Al May 27, 2011 at 10:47 am #

      jc clearly does not eat bugs when it matters. fail.

  4. A.A.B. (auntie angie baby) May 25, 2011 at 10:34 pm #

    The baby maker is having a similar problem. I thought she’d call for advice on diapering, burping, feeding, changing, or other seemingly daunting tasks for a new mother but alas, when the call came it was “omg we have ants..what do I do?” to which I calmly replied, “send your baby daddy to buy some traps” and so she did. I expect the ant problem here to resolve itself very soon but for you darling, an expression that created one of the funnies TV shows ever springs to mind “this is your life”

    • Al May 27, 2011 at 10:45 am #

      haha this is not my life – i do not accept! i want to vacate all the ants! i love that bm called you with an ant problem out of ALL the possible problems she could be having. um take note, when i have a kid i will be calling crying with every baby-related problem in the world. bm is clearly a lot stronger than me haha.

  5. Barnet May 26, 2011 at 2:42 am #

    Take you two shoes, preferably ones more durable than those available at the gap, and do this dance all over your floor…..

    • Al May 27, 2011 at 10:44 am #

      hahaha no kidding. i didnt bring my running shoes – so im using my flip flops right now. but ants are like right up there with cockroaches – these little effers just keep coming back!

  6. Chu May 26, 2011 at 2:45 pm #

    Raid Ant Baits work the best…msg me your addy on facebook and I’ll send you some if you can’t get any there!

    • Al May 27, 2011 at 10:43 am #

      thanks chu! i will definitely take you up on that if my hunt this weekend fails! glad you subscribed :)

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